No strings attached
by Short on words
Summary: He still knows all the right words to say and she remembers exactly what he likes. Ex-lovers caught up in the friends with benefits dynamic, but that can't last forever, can it? AH / AU
1. Madness

**Warning ****: Mature content. But let's not pretend like anyone who shouldn't be reading this will stop just because I ask you to, it'll only spur you on… So just delete your recents to avoid trouble with mothers who check those, alright? :P**

**More effective warning:**** story ****_actually contains a plot (at some point)_****, so if you're only looking for smut: there are many writers out here who do a much better job at that!**

**_There's nothing quite like fanfiction to forget about life for a while. Inspired by Muse, I present to you 'Madness'._**

**_xXx_**

_I, I can't get these memories out of my mind  
And some kind of madness has started to evolve  
I, I tried so hard to let you go  
But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole_

**xXx**

It was a cold, drowsy evening in May. Damon was working late, trying to get his paper finished in time. Correction: Damon was watching 'The Walking Dead' on his laptop, his paper forgotten on the background of his screen.

40 minutes later though, the episode was almost over. _Back to the damn paper. Or not? Wasn't there anything else he could do, if need be a chore… or Facebook maybe?_

The doorbell broke him out of his reverie and he happily pressed pause. _No more writing tonight._

"Elena?" he stated surprised, when he saw his ex-girlfriend fumbling with her fingers in front of his door. She didn't really reply, she just walked passed him into the room.

"How did you get in?" Damon inquired, knowing you needed a keycard to get into his apartment building.

"You neighbor recognized me, he let me in," Elena said simply.

"Oh," Damon replied, still not sure why she was visiting.

"Your thesis is coming along great I see," Elena commented dryly, eying the paused video on her ex boyfriend's laptop.

"Oh shut up, you can criticize once you get your master degree," Damon deadpanned, reminding her that he already had his first degree, while she was still writing her bachelor paper.

"Fine," Elena conceded, sinking into the large black sofa, staring absentmindedly at the floor.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Gilbert, but what exactly are you doing here?" Damon inquired.

"I wanted to watch a movie, and I remembered you had a big flat screen and an HDMI-cable to connect to your laptop," Elena stated simply.

"Out of the blue?" Damon questioned, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes… do you want me to leave?" Elena asked.

"No, I was just stopping anyway, make yourself comfortable," he replied, flipping through trailers to pick an action movie they hadn't seen before. Part of him was still processing the fact that Elena had decided to show up all of a sudden, but another part of him was happy to have her in his apartment again. They'd been together for over three years and even after their amicable break-up a few months earlier, he still liked spending time with her.

After putting Godzilla on, Damon took the blue fleece blanket out of the closet and tossed it to Elena, before joining her on the couch.

"Wasn't there a party in your dorm tonight?" Damon asked after a while.

"Mmm," Elena mumbled.

"So, why are you hiding out here?" he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Wasn't feeling up to it," Elena murmured, keeping her eyes on the screen.

"Are you ok?" Damon questioned, a little concerned now.

"I just want to watch the movie, Damon," she averted his question.

"You know… I bet my shoulder still works as a makeshift pillow," Damon suggested playfully, trying to cheer her up. Elena gave him a small smile and scooted over. _That was an offer she wasn't refusing tonight._

**xXx**

Halfway through the movie, Damon had wrapped his arms around Elena's back and she was snuggled against his chest, neither of them had really realized how it had happened, but they were somehow slipping into their old routine. It felt comfortable, easy. Make no mistake: Damon was still the annoying playboy Elena never wanted to date again, and Elena was still much too stiff and uptight for Damon's taste, but watching a movie together right there and right then felt… nice, _somehow_.

Ten minutes later Damon was absentmindedly rubbing tiny circles onto Elena shoulder and her hand rested on his upper tight. Again, no big deal. When their eyes met, however, the connection was suddenly evident to both of them and time seemed to freeze for just a split second. It was already too late though, they were passed the point of no return.

Elena realized she should not have come, as she pressed her lips to his. _She shouldn't be kissing him_, she knew she shouldn't, but it felt pretty darn amazing after all those months, and she'd had a really rough week. Damon didn't need any more encouragement, and soon he was kissing her back with a long lost vigor, cradling her face and holding her close, never breaking contact from fear she'd change her mind.

Sex was good. Fun. Being a healthy 24 year-old, Damon definitely had a healthy appetite for passion, but sex with Elena, that was incredible. She knew his body like the back of her hand and sleeping with her was nothing short of mind-blowing.

Hastily Damon started fidgeting with the zipper of her dress, as she expertly unbuttoned his shirt. Her eyes lit up for a tiny moment when she exposed his chest and Damon couldn't hide the small smile playing on his lips, proud that she still responded to him in that way. Seconds later, Elena's dress landed in a puddle on the floor and Damon gently lowered her onto the sofa, admiring the way her hair was played over the beige leather.

"You're still gorgeous," Damon whispered softly, touching the dark blue lace of her bra. When his eyes met hers though, she wasn't beaming like she usually would, when he commented on her beauty, all he saw was nervousness in her chocolate eyes.

"Elena, what's going on?" Damon whispered softly, dressed in nothing more than his boxers.

"Nothing," she whispered, averting his eyes.

"Elena, I know you…" Damon urged.

"I don't want to talk tonight, Damon. So what's it going to be: a good time or a psych eval? Because I'm not staying for the latter," Elena replied bitterly.

"Elena, I can't do this if you're going to regret it tomorrow," Damon insisted.

"Well, I need this tonight, so either you let me and you'll know I'm safe, or I'll go to the bar down the street. At this point, I could really care less. So?" she demanded.

"That's emotional blackmail," Damon accused.

"_You're_ the one who got _me_ naked," Elena remarked.

"Are you absolutely sure you want this?" Damon insisted.

Elena nodded.

"Then you're not leaving tonight," Damon stated.

"Damon-" Elena started to protest.

"No, I'm serious. You're upset, you're not leaving," Damon told her. Sleeping with her was one thing, but allowing her to leave afterwards somehow made it… indecent.

"Fine," she deadpanned, "Enough talking." She pulled him down, moving her lips violently against his, effectively shutting him up.

**xXx**

Elena was impatient and Damon was soon making a wet trail of kisses down her stomach. He felt her shudder a little as his warm breath tickled her folds. He'd missed that, her small reactions to his ministrations. He kissed her small bundle of nerves, enjoying the taste that lingered on his lips. She was moist, but then again, she always was when he got to have his way with her.

Pleasing Elena was unlike pleasuring other girls. Since they'd been together for years, he could play her like a fiddle. No other girl could genuinely scream, cry and squirm under him like she did. It was almost a game, teasing and pleasing her body. He knew just which buttons to push and the effect was… well satisfying would be an understatement.

His tongue moved expertly, eliciting barely suppressed moans as she fought to keep quiet and he fought to make her lose her mind. They were great together, always balanced. And Damon relished in the heavy breathing and the way she pulled his hair. She was close, he knew she was and when she finally let go… she looked absolutely mesmerizing. Cheeks flushed, skin glowing, hair a sexy mess. She was like a piece of art. _His piece of art_, in those precious moments.

Her eyes were closed for one brief moment, she looked peaceful, coming down from her high. Then she looked up at him from under dark lashes, a devious smirk playing on her lips and Damon knew it was his turn, the pain in her eyes was gone.

Elena elegantly rose from the sofa, lingerie forgotten on the side. She moved in front of him and grabbed his hips, adjusting his posture so Damon's back was comfortably supported by the pillows. He was resting low enough on the sofa to be relaxed and high enough to watch, as she found a place between his tights. _Damon loved to watch._

His boxers fell to the floor as Elena ran her tongue teasingly over the tip of his length, then she simply blew a little, eying him to gauze his reaction. Damon's eyes were already closed and it was clear he wouldn't need much stimulation to lose it, if she'd take him into her mouth now, they'd surely be done for the night. Instead she just massaged his tip, coating him with the already present liquid, as she enveloped his package with her lips, pulling down gently. Damon groaned loudly.

"Elena, if you keep doing that I-," a rush of air escaped his lips and his voice trailed off.

"I know…" she said, reluctantly releasing him with one last lick over his perineum, eliciting another moan.

Deciding to put him out of his misery, she straddled his lap and Damon's hands instantly moved to rest on her hips. He slowly pushed into her, relishing in the feel of unity as he thrust home. Fingers were good, lips were amazing, but nothing quite compared to the feeling of being inside of her. He'd been her first boyfriend all those years ago, and even now, filling her inch by inch, still felt pretty magical, although he'd never admit that out loud.

Elena wasn't about to let him savor the moment, however. She picked up the pace rather quickly, not in the mood for soft and sweet. Her nails were digging into the back of his shoulders and Damon had no option but to get with the program. They weren't together anymore, this was purely physical satisfaction. Damon moved his fingers to where their bodies met. _He could at least remind her of what she'd been missing out on._

With the little extra stimulation, Elena toppled over the edge in a matter of seconds, soon followed by her ex-boyfriend, who was quickly rethinking the status of their on-and-off relationship.  
Elena's head was on Damon's shoulder as she slowly came down to earth, Damon just held onto her, enjoying the way her body molded to his.

A minute later, however, the spell was broken and Elena moved, allowing a cold rush of air to hit Damon's sweaty body.

"Elena?" he drew softly.

"Shower," she explained.

"Can I-" Taking in her dazed expression he decided not to push his luck. "You can sleep in the grey shirt you like, top drawer on the right." Elena nodded and left the room, leaving a confused Damon behind.

**xXx**

Half an hour later they were both tucked in under the covers of Damon's king-sized bed. For the first time in four years, Damon regretted how spacious it was. Elena hadn't spoken since she'd gotten out of the shower. The silence was back.

"Elena, what's going on?" Damon whispered.

"I don't know… I was missing something…"

"Is that how you ended on my doorstep tonight?" he insisted, turning on his side so he could face her. "Did it help?" he tried again.

"For a while..."

"Do you regret it?"

"No."

Neither of them said a word and a heavy silence stretched across the room.

"I don't want a boyfriend now," Elena spoke after a long moment.

"And yet you're here…" Damon mused.

"It was just sex," Elena defended herself.

"Really good sex," Damon commented, quirking his eyebrows.

"Goodnight Damon," Elena told him, turning her back on him.

"Goodnight Elena," Damon replied, letting the syllables roll off his tongue.

That was how it all started, once upon a time. That part was simple though, easy. The main question was how they'd ever make it stop…

**_xXx_**

_And some kind of madness has started to evolve_

**_xXX_**


	2. Touch

**Hi. Tonight it's exactly one year ago that I discovered Fanfic. The first Fic I ever read was pure smut. It was called 'Desire' and I accidentally stumbled upon its 4th chapter. I read it with flaming cheeks, closed the window and deleted my computer history. :D But many things have changed over the past 12 months :P Enjoy!**

Song: Touch by Daughter. (Lovely recommendation by Alexis)

**xXx**

_Love hunt me down__  
I can't stand to be so dead behind the eyes  
And feed me, spark me up  
A creature in my blood stream chews me up_

**_xXx_**

It was a little past three AM in Damon's apartment. His awoke to the gentle touch of Elena's fingers on his bare chest. She wasn't aware of her own actions. Her breathing was still slow and even, she was sound asleep. And it was only in those haunted dreams of hers that she reached out to him, unconsciously.

Damon couldn't help but watch her, for minutes and one moment longer. Wistfulness grabbed a hold of him and nostalgia took him by surprise. The situation was disarmingly familiar, yet alarmingly foreign at the exact same time.

He had held her. He had. Over a hundred times she had rested her head upon his chest, her fingertips ghosting over sensitive skin until she dozed off peacefully. Familiar. So familiar. Because they had been there and they had done that before. During their relationship and even afterwards. _In stolen moments_.

Except that night Elena hadn't fallen asleep in his arms at all. They hadn't even kissed before she'd briskly turned her back toward him and shifted to the edge of the bed. She was laying underneath the same covers, but their final interaction had lacked every kind of affection.

Yet there she was, suddenly snuggling closer. Damon had relaxed into her touch almost instantly, reflexively. But this was the point where it started to dawn on him that it wasn't real for her, she wasn't even aware of what was happening. And contrary to what others might say, he didn't need that. Touch without love or affection simply wasn't his thing.

Careful not to wake her, Damon gently slid out from underneath her. He placed her hand gently next to her body, after tilting it up from his skin. The spot where she'd touched him felt unusually warm, but that wasn't romance, it was science.

**xXx**

In the darkness, Damon found his way from the bathroom back to the bedroom. The little walk and the cold water had helped him to easy his mind. Elena's presence was confusing him. _It shouldn't._

The fact that she had sought comfort in his arms, or rather his passion, did not entail any responsibilities for him regarding their future. This was all. _No hopes. No ever after_. This was what they called a 'one night stand'. Perhaps he should simply enjoy the moment and relish in the 'goodbye' he never got the first time around.

The mattress dipped in under Damon's weight as he returned to the bed. He didn't lay down though, preferring to watch the night sky and think in silence for a moment. It was late and it was time to sleep, Damon was well aware of that. Yet some nights were too precious to waste, so he stared at the moon a little while longer.

_Elena_. With all the luck in the world, Damon still couldn't figure out what was going on in her confused mind.

Two fingers broke Damon out of his reverie. They trailed a path from the back of his right shoulder all the way to his left. Tenderly, they slipped to the edge of his collarbone, barely touching him. There was a fine line between tickling and pleasuring, but Elena sure knew how to make his body sing.

The fingers teasingly tip-toed over to the middle of his chest before they trailed their way down. Elena's tongue teased the small patch of sensitive skin behind Damon's ear while she dragged her fingers lightly down his happy trail, before placing her hand low on his stomach.

"There," she whispered sensually. The words slipping from her lips along with a rush of air.

As her left hand played with his chest, the pinky finger of her right one daringly slipped into his boxers. Damon's hadn't responded to her ministration up till that point, but he did place his hand over hers in one smooth motion, because as heavenly as it felt, it was nowhere near smart.

_Rejection_. Damon knew she'd feel rejected if he'd refuse her, so her interlaced their fingers before driving them back up his body and then over her hers.

He turned around to face her and she smiled up at him with a 'miss-on-a-mission' smirk. It had him smiling and within seconds his hands were on her waste, bringing her down on top of him as he settled back onto the bed.

"Oh, come here," he whispered happily, pulling her in to cradle her against his chest.

Elena simply shook her head. She had that doe-eyed innocent look on her face.  
Young, careless, free… _Almost_.

Had she been any other girl then the trick would have worked fine on Damon. But he _knew_ her. That's what happens after a year or two, you get to know someone and pick up on the little things. Something was off with her demeanor and it bothered him.

The nagging voice inside of his head refused to shut up, even when Elena straddled his chest. Not for long, however. She had a devilish smirk on her face as she unbuttoned the shirt she was wearing right in front of his eyes.

_God.  
She was naked._  
Dressed in nothing but the loose black button-down that hung halfway off her left shoulder.  
And she was gorgeous. She had always been gorgeous.

Elena glanced up at him satisfied, as she felt his arousal grow. It pressed against her skin from underneath Damon's boxers. Elena freed it without second thought, holding it delicately between her fingers as if it were her most prized possession.

_Hers_. It had always been hers. Since she knew how to take proper care of it better than anyone else.

She let go, stroking the inside of his tights as she watched his eyes grew dark from desire. He wanted her. That had been her goal all along. Elena needed to feel wanted, _longed for, craved_. They were both well aware of the fact, but in that moment Elena's intentions didn't really matter. Damon's wasn't one to complain as her lips trailed down his chest. It felt amazing. She knew exactly how to balance passion, pleasure and tenderness. She had perfected making his body sing as if it were an art.

Damon shuddered as he felt her lips curl over the tip of his member, it felt good. So very damn good. He could barely keep from moaning as he took his all the way in, dragging her tongue around the tip. She performed a dance of 'advance and retreat', it had him biting his lips to keep from thrusting upward.

_Elena knew_. She knew exactly what she was doing and how particularly well she did it. She locked eyes with him, staring at him in defiance, willing him to surrender and suddenly… the moment was gone.

There was that haunting look behind her mask of wildness and indifference and suddenly Damon lost his ability to concentrate, gradually losing his erection and regaining control over his breathing.

Elena's face fell as she glanced up at him again. After a brief flash of panic crossed over her delicate features, she let him slip from her lips rather briskly. Almost harsh. She shot him a quick disappointed glance before grabbing for the discarded shirt on the floor.

_Oh, if looks could kill._

She bit her lip and fought the tears in her eyes, fidgeting with the buttons to close the shirt already. She felt humiliated and utterly alone as even her ex's libido didn't feel like roaring to live upon seeing her naked anymore.

For two seconds she pondered going home, but ultimately she settled for the edge of the bed her again, closing prickling eyes tightly shut and savagely wiping at tear-stained cheeks. If she could turn up the music inside of her mind loud enough, then perhaps she could forget she was there.

It had been a mistake coming to Damon. She's been lost and lonely, but above all: sinecure. Life had been hell at home during the days before and she had been feeling so useless and small. Right up to that point where she remembered that there was one particular situation where she always came to life, felt like she could rule the world, conquer anything and everything. And that happened to be whenever she had Damon flustered and satisfied underneath her. But that wasn't happening now. Apparently even that was something she could no longer manage. Sadness. Sadness had been the key theme seven hours ago. Now all that remained was anger though, anger toward everything that _refused to work_. And Damon had joined that category, regrettably.

xXx

"Elena?"

Damon's hand rubbed long, warm circles over her back. He watched pained as her body heaved with repressed sobs. He shouldn't have allowed her to have her way. He knew that now. But that damage was already done. All he could do was reach out.

"Elena, please," Damon whispered, stroking her arm from her shoulder to the palm of her hand where he interlaced their fingers. "Talk to me," he urged, a desperate undercurrent accompanying his words.

"_Everything's_ broken," Elena managed hoarsely. Her tone wasn't sad, rather bitter or angry. The hint of accusation was undeniable as the words fell from her tongue.

Damon let go, rolling onto his back. He bit his lip to maintain control.

Her words had burned him. He couldn't help the ache growing inside of his chest, the insecurities inside of his mind. He loved her and she wasn't being fair. She'd come over with no other intention than using him, or rather his body and now she discarded him openly, taking her distance in indignation. He was effectively tossed aside.

He couldn't even complain. His friends wouldn't let him because 'he should have known better'.

"Elena, please. You can't do this," Damon whispered.

She stood up, appearing to have changed her mind about leaving. Damon reacted fast however, catching her wrist.

"Let me go!" Elena snapped. And Damon did, but not before blocking her path to the door. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her. Hard. It was unfair, how a guy – regardless of his good intentions- had to let go of a girl reflexively when she demanded that, but those same rules never applied to girls. Double standards. Life was full of double standards.  
As if guys like Damon would ever touch a girl against her will.  
As if girls never played society's rules to their full advantage.

Then again, the rules were there for a reason. No one should ever feel unsafe. Unfortunately: the guys following those rules usually acted out of common sense and were hardly the ones that posed a threat.

"Fine," he announced. "But you are not leaving like this."

"Fine," Elena agreed, laying back on top of the bed and turning her back to him. Damon knew the game, but he wasn't playing along this time. So he settled for the chair next to the bed and waited.

"Elena… Why did you come?" he inquired.

"I didn't hear you complaining twenty minutes ago," Elena snapped, but he heard her voice quiver.

"What's going on?" Damon questioned.

"I don't want to talk about it," Elena informed him in the strongest voice she could muster.

"Then you should have stayed home. I'm not meant for your entertainment, if you come here, then please make sure you've got it together," he spoke. "Or don't. We're friends. If you're not alright, then there's a place for that too here, but what you're doing just now…"

"What am I _doing here_?" Elena challenged.

"Dropping by to use me for sex while you're obviously distressed and then tossing me aside because I can't fuck you when I know you're upset! How's that even logical?" Damon ranted. _Didn't girls want guys to care?_

Elena was taken aback by his straightforwardness, they usually tip-toed around their issues a little while longer. "And by the way, literally turning your back on your bed partner and threatening to leave when-, when sex doesn't work out instantly- Seriously, if the genders had been reversed …"

"You didn't have to allow me!" Elena interjected.

Damon snorted. "You girls never have to allow being used either, but when you do you still feel violated. And rightfully so. That's just not ok. What you just did: trying, deciding I failed you and turning away that is just not ok. Do you have a clue how that makes me feel? How wonderfully humiliating that is? Come on, Elena, you being all gender-equality I would've thought you'd know better."

He was right. If he roles had been reversed she'd been crying herself to sleep with her self-confidence shredded to pieces. No girlfriend of hers would have ever forgiven Damon, while it somehow felt 'less cruel' when the one being tossed aside was guy. The thought snapped her back to reality and she turned around, meeting her eyes again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered genuinely.

Damon breathed relieved. He wasn't in the mood to fight, he simply wanted to move forward so he allowed himself to sink back on top of the covers.

With his eyes on her, he tilted his head, gesturing for her to come closer.

She slowly closed the distance between them, moving tentatively.  
She was confused.  
Sorry.  
Sad.  
Truly a strange mixture of all the above.

Damon simply held out his arms and pulled her in, enveloping her in his arms. Being was not about an argument and it was no longer about winning either.

He felt her tears fall onto his chest and be bent his head to kiss the top of hers.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked softly.

"I don't know," she whispered to his skin.

Damon slipped a warm hand underneath her shirt and placed it on top of her lower back. She was cradled against him, tired of fighting.

"What's wrong?" Damon inquired gently as her breathing evened out again.

"I'm pregnant.  
And it's yours."

**xXx**

_To feel something_

**xXx**

**I'm babysitting seven kids tonight. The local school has a parent-teacher conference and most babysitters are out studying. Apart from a tireless four-year-old on my lap, everyone's asleep. I guess TVD's not age appropriate, let's put OUAT on :)**

**Night-night!**

(To Afraid-of-the-sun and the other Mom's who currently have their kids under my care: this was written on Wednesday, NOT while babysitting your 'motley crew' :P)


	3. La dernière danse (The Final Dance)

**Hey :) By come-back plan has been postponed and even more postponed, until last Saturday when I had my birthday I unwrapped a printed version of Scars Beneath the Surface (courtesy of my phenomenal boyfriend) and I realized how much I'd truly miss updating… And there's no time, but there's never gonna be time, time has to be made :P**

**xXx**

Words, we have thousands of them, carefully selected phrases to fit every situation. We are 'so happy for our friends' or 'very sorry for their loss'. Sometimes those words are moving, often however they are superficial, having lost their true emotional value like a rock loses its sharp edges wave after wave. Yet no matter how impossible the situation, there's always a giftcard in your local supermarket that applies, until there isn't…

**xXx**

_Ô ma douce souffrance_

_Pourquoi s'acharner tu recommences_

**xXx**

"I'm pregnant.  
And it's yours."

A heavy silence stretched across the room.

_I'm pregnant.__ And it's yours._

A shiver went down Damon's spine and he blinked, twice.

_I'm pregnant.__ And it's yours._

Damon's head appeared to have a life of its own, slowly beginning a shaking motion while attempting to process the news. His mind suddenly reactivated and ordered complete stillness, sensing that a non-verbal 'nooooo' was not going to be of help at all. In search of a better approach, his head remained tilted, frozen mid-motion. _How in God's name was he supposed to respond?_

Two dark blue eyes disappeared and reappeared once more as Damon blinked again._ Think! _He wanted to hit himself against his thick skull, scrambled for a plan, still he came up blank. Earlier in the day, when he had watched Shireen Baratheon being burned at the scene in Game of Thrones, the word 'perplex' had come to mind, yet now he realized he could have a thousand more insane episodes, yet never feel this way again_, red weddings included._

_I'm pregnant.__ And it's yours._

Her words, they'd been… In a way they'd been like lightening up close. The most magnificent and powerful thing one had ever experienced, yet wildly dangerous and potentially lethal. _How was he doing? Was he effectively ruining all chances he'd ever had with her? Was the end near?_

Deadly, lighting could be deadly. One had to be on alert, anticipate, respond. Damon opened his mouth but no words came out.

_Elena._

**_xXx_**

_Et dans le bruit, je cours et j'ai peur_

_Est ce mon tour ?_

_Vient la douleur_

**_xXx_**

Elena began to move against the chest where she was being cradled. She had to get away, to run, anywhere, nowhere. Her fingers were spread and pushing against Damon's chest right now. She eyed him wearily and he looked odd. His head was tilted to her left, his lips apart, eyes wide. As Elena tried to move away from the frozen body beneath her, the blue eyed man suddenly came to life.

The hand she'd been pushing against his chest was cradled in his hand now and he locked her arm in place with his other hand, he wasn't letting her run and she grew slightly uncomfortable. Was he that unhappy with the news? Did he want her to abort, did he want her to keep it? Was he angry with her? Was he in shock? Elena's mind was running a short circuit, no certainties remained. The only thing she still remembered was that she didn't want him touching her if his arms held no comfort.

"Damon, say something," she rushed out in a whisper, unable to refrain.

"It's… a lot," Damon tested his first coherent sentence.

It wasn't enough. Not enough to made her feel less ashamed, or lonely, perhaps just frightened. She attempted to turn away, hurt, but he wouldn't let her. Of course he wouldn't. She had to stay, if only one sound thought remained clear in the whirlwind that was running havoc on Damon's mind, it was the fact that he couldn't let her leave.

"No," she faced away, she cursed herself, yet she did face away. How many times had she seen or read this scene… _The girl in distress, gradually distancing herself from a man who's desperately screwing up. 'Don't leave' – 'then fight for me'_. It was the cliché of all clichés, the one she'd mocked and joked about endlessly with her friends. Still right in that moment she saw no other way, so she faced away and prayed like hell he'd fight…

Elena was still lost in thoughts when she felt his grip on her loosen and his fingers trailing across her cheeks, cradling her face. For a brief moment she considered breaking away, but who was the act for, she wanted him to win.

And he did win. Because as he tilted her chin to meet his eyes, she saw the dark pupils and his bright blue irises, saw the lake she'd just rippled. Only then it dawned on her, how throwing a rock in the water didn't leave a single circle, it left a thousand. Their eyes connected and as she stared into the blue depths, she felt what he felt. It wasn't about 'wanting a baby or not', is was about finding the money, getting a degree, getting a job, looking for a place to raise the child, defining their relationship-status, considering marriage or co-parenting, alerting their parents, altering their live.

Her rock had left an endless collection of circles, rippling the water that had been still for as long as she could remember, until the water overflowed and the first drop fell from his eyes. So Damon Salvatore was capable of shedding a tear, who knew.

She saw his gaze drop to her hands and his fingers trailed down along her arms to hold her hand. She allowed him to intertwine their fingers and the next Damon knew, Elena lifted their hands and turned underneath them, effectively ending up pressed against his chest. It was like a silent dance, in the middle of the night. The intense push and pull from before now made room for a more gentle rhythm. Damon was happy to have her close, have her skin touching his skin, her heartbeat near his. Meanwhile Elena dared to let the news sink in for the first time since she'd found out that afternoon. She still didn't know what to do or how to handle it, but she did know where to run, deep down she'd always known where to run, for there was no safer place then Damon's embrace.

"It's a lot," she whispered softly, repeating the words Damon had spoken before.

"It's ours," Damon whispered back, kissing her skin softly, just once.

Elena turned around in his arms, facing him. His eyes followed her, searched for hers, and finally answered the questions she'd been frightened to ask. It wasn't everything, but it was a lot. And it was enough, enough to face tomorrow.

**xXx**

Words, we have thousands of them, carefully selected phrases to fit every situation. Still, every once in a while, words are overrated, for nothing can capture warmth and security quite like genuine embraces can…

**xXx**

_Que d'espérance_

**_xXx_**

**Truth be told, the next chapter of a Wonderful Lie is written and ready, but it felt weird to post. I have no clue how much/if views/reviews dropped after Nina leaving the show etc… And I've been gone half a year. So this is me dipping my toes into the water :P And if it works out, consider me back :)**

**Night-night dear readers!**


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